Trembling and Determined

There’s a dark side of me that I’ve been keeping hidden from everyone. This part of me doesn’t want to be friends with anyone. I just want to be alone. My social obligations are slowly dwindling, and I am looking forward to that. I am also afraid of what will happen when that happens. I don’t know how I’ll feel, I don’t know what I’ll do, when left to my own devices.

I feel lonely, being unable to share this part of me. I suspect that part of me is the loneliness. I suspect that I’m afraid of being alone and afraid of what I’ll do when I’m alone. That’s the emerging fear. It’s also tempting. I want to find out what happens when I’m alone. I want to know. I want to walk into the darkness, trembling and determined.