Lying is Safe

I just lied. I told a sales girl that I didn’t have a phone, but I gave her my email. Then, out of curiosity, I wanted to figure out my weight (61.1kg) in pounds, so I whipped out my iPhone. “I thought you didn’t have a phone!” “I don’t have a SIM card,” I lied. Again.

These reflexive lies, these compulsive lies, are just like bursts of anger. I did it, it’s done, no need to brood over it. But maintaining equanimity, catching that urge to lie before it happens, is the key to maintaining integrity.

I used to be a compulsive liar. I thought of it as an art form. I prided in my ability to spontaneously bullshit people with convincing lies. Now I’m trying to undo that habit.

Being honest is harder than lying. Being honest is being vulnerable.