Milestones and Changes, Past and Future

We started off with a fire ritual. We chanted Sanskrit and tossed offerings to the flame. Rituals mark milestones in my life. Today was the first full day of my teacher training. A girl offered her seat in front of the flame, so I was able to participate fully. Thank you.

Morning yoga was slow and detailed. Breathing slowly and paying attention to the small details proved challenging. In many ways, I am still a beginner, which is good. I can relate better to students and I will continue to learn.

As a karma yoga exercise, I cleaned up a field across the street. I picked up soda bottles, candy wrappers, and cigarette butts. Cleaning others’ trash increased awareness of my own “out of sight out of mind” attitude.

Tomorrow is Day 1 of my detox. My ego wanted to go for 10 days, but I’m going to trust the professionals to judge what’s best for me. Supposedly, I will experience memories, emotions, and illnesses trapped in my body as I process them. Combining it with my teacher training was my ego’s idea, but it’s also a good opportunity to compress more life-changing activities together.

I completed a report on the Yoga Sutras of Pantajali, read tonight’s required reading on Sanskrit and postures, and read through the detox manual. It’s now 12:30. It’s weird being a student again. I realize that I need to do homework on a more timely manner, instead of doing it last thing at night. I tried to finish up my reading this afternoon but fell asleep, one of the dangers of studying in bed.

It’s a little scary, knowing the amount of work ahead of me, knowing that detoxifying may make it difficult to focus. Yet I try to do things as I always do, one day at a time, one moment at a time, rather than thinking about the terrifying cumulative amount of work.