Waking Up Late

“Get up, get up, we’re late for dinner!”

I was never told when dinner was and nobody called me to wake up. Yet my dad was rushing and yelling at me as if I were the one who had mismanaged time.

I quickly imagined what happened: My dad was tired of shopping with my mom, so he went back. But he stopped at the jockey club first. There, he lost track of time and suddenly rushed home to wake me up for dinner. He didn’t want to be late, and definitely didn’t want anyone to think it was because he was at the jockey club, so he focused all his self-created agitation on me and my mom. (He also yelled at my mom over the phone that we’re late and to stop shopping.)

I realized before I even got out of my bed that I had been triggered. I wanted to snap back, “You never told me when dinner was, you came back late and now you’re blaming me?” But that would have been unproductive. My goal was not to one-up my dad and shut him up good. My goal to improve our family’s harmony, to improve my own tolerance, and, if possible, to make him see his own errors.

So I first calmed myself down. I got ready, talked to him calmly, found out what was agitating him (“We need to bring some chicken!”) and figured out a solution (“We can get some at the restaurant near Uncle’s place.”)

As we took the tram toward the chicken, my dad calmed down. I indirectly tried to get him to reveal why he was late, asking him why he didn’t call me. He accused me of being a heavy sleeper, that a phone call wouldn’t have woken me up. “So you didn’t even call.” Yup.

I decided that a public tram wasn’t the best place to grill my dad. Also, I wasn’t sure if would help him gain insight or feed my ego.

Dinner went well and the mood lifted. I planned on interrogating my dad once we got back, but I no longer care for the “truth”, which would only feed my ego.

In the past, I was very ill-tempered when being woken up. I credit the meditation I did prior to my nap for saving my dad and me from having an unnecessary argument.