Self-Restraint
Mahatma Gandhi in his autobiography:
[Inhibitions] imposed from without rarely [succeed], but when they are self-imposed, they have a decidedly salutary effect.
I grew up with a lot of restrictions from my parents. I couldn’t hangout with my friends, I couldn’t watch TV, I couldn’t use the computer, I couldn’t eat candy, I couldn’t drink soda, I couldn’t this, I couldn’t that. Two results: I became so timid I couldn’t even ask for permission for anything I needed, and these suppressed cravings grew out of control.
I learned to be secretive: I snuck out to see my girlfriend, I used the computer at night, I binged on candy when no one was looking, etc. None of these were healthy, but they were what I had to do to satisfy my cravings.
Eventually I grew strong enough to stand up to my parents and satisfy my cravings by myself. I’ve traveled, went on adventures, eaten exotic foods, experienced amazing things. Yet in the end, I wanted more, newer, better. Fulfillment was still distant.
I’ve also experimented with self-imposed restrictions. I became a raw vegan, then a vegetarian. I stopped spending money. I avoid owning stuff. I cut out all alcohol and recreational drugs.
Surprisingly, these restrictions have given me a sense of satisfaction I didn’t get from succumbing to desire. Limiting my choices allowed me to focus on the qualities of everything I already have: my health, my family, my friends.
For example, food. I hardly eat for taste; I eat for nutrition. When I was a raw vegan, shopping for food was dead simple:
- Go to the fresh fruits and vegetables section.
- Checkout.
The longer I live, the more I realize the fulfillment in living a simple life, freed from the chains of craving and aversion.