Intimacy Ladder

Today I went to yoga. Still working on my drop-backs, but I can feel that they’re improving every day. It’s nice having Lily there. I’ve been working with her the longest since I’ve been in Hong Kong. I don’t know if she’s the best teacher for me, but I feel most comfortable getting adjusted by her.

I got two girls’ e-mails today. It’s nice to expand my social circle a little, I hope I have time to hang out with them.

I had dim sum with my grandma, then walked home with my mom. I wanted to take the tram, because my leg was feeling tired. But she wanted to walk, so I figure it’d be good for her to get exercise and the extra exercise probably could help my leg as well.

I passed out after we got home, around noon. I woke up around 5 pm. It felt good to let my body rest.

When I woke up I worked on my site a bit more. I’ve reenabled the navigation stuff, which I disabled for my digital sabbatical.

I’m surprised that my digital sabbatical took a few months. Though I didn’t totally disconnect, I pretty much avoided having an online presence, choosing to only use the internet to contact people for face-to-face meetings, or calling people long distance. Basically, using the internet to enhance my offline contacts.

I’ve come to the conclusion that relationships have a certain level of intimacy, depending on the communication method. I see it as a ladder, where physical, face-to-face communication is at the top, followed by video chat, voice, e-mail, text, and at the bottom is Facebook stalking.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with each level, I think it’s just a representation of the average intimacy level. I think many people, including myself in the past, have used Facebook stalking as an easy way to feel connected to people. I would read a person’s wall and feel like I’ve connected with the person. But that’s not nearly as connected as having a cup of tea with the person, or having sex with them.

I see relationships as going up, going down, or maintaining the level of intimacy. I’d like to improve my intimacy with everybody by slowly going up the ladder where possible. So instead of just IMing my brother, I prefer to call him, to hear his voice, to speak directly into his brain. I want to increase our intimacy rather than just have slow, superficial conversations with our fingers.

In the past, there were relationships where I’d rather keep at bay, so I would not pick up the phone and stick to whatever crappy conversation I could, so I didn’t have to commit to not hanging up on the person. I try not to be so passive-aggressive with my relationships now.

It’s funny, when I started writing, I had writer’s block. So I just wrote about my day. One thing led to another, and now I have a piece I’m proud of.