Cornered by Christians

Dave is in town! We played tourist the whole day, photographing, chatting, and joking. We are all very tired. But the most interesting part was dinner.

Jessica invited me to a house meeting. She had mentioned before that they were Christians, but were open to everybody, and discussed philosophy, the meaning of life, etc. Sure, I was down for that. I brought Dave along.

We arrived and got acquainted. I talked about yoga, Dave talked about photography. We ate dinner in a circle. It was nice.

Then the sheet music was passed around. The mood dramatically changed. Everyone got a sheet. They make sure that Dave and I weren’t left out. Everyone sang except Dave and I.

After the song, praises were made about the song, about how true it was.

One guy, let’s call him Mr. Serious, asked us if we knew the story of the Adam and Eve. I said, “Nope. But I’ve heard variations of it.” He seemed flabbergasted that Jessica hadn’t told it to me, and told Jessica to do so now.

I have been put on the spot in my life a lot. I’ve always hated that, that feeling of obligation, of guilt, of pressure. While I’ve also grown more immune to social pressure the past few years, I still dislike it when people are pressured into doing things.

So when he put my cousin on the spot like that, my immediate response was to defend her and volley back to him. I asked him, “Why don’t you tell me your variation?” He seemed mildly shocked that the spotlight was put on him, but he complied. Detailed explanations were given about the context: Adam and Eve, God becoming human as Jesus to wash our sins, how all we had to do was to believe in Jesus as our savior and we would be saved. Afterward, personal experiences about how the song’s lyrics applied in their lives were shared.

Discussion about the song died down, so we moved onto the “How to Read the Bible” section. Everyone, in turn and in unison, read a few pages from the booklet. We were automatically skipped. I don’t know if they sensed that Dave and I didn’t want to or if they just skip the unconverted. I was relieved, though I was prepared to take a stand. More on this in a bit.

After the reading, Mr. Serious looked at Dave and me and asked if we had any questions. One of the girls raised her hand and quickly realized that he was asking us, but the group’s questions were handled nonetheless. Afterward, Mr. Serious again asked if the two of us had any questions. We had none.

There was some group activity that involved everyone reading lines from the booklet, one after another. When it came to my turn I took the stand I had prepared earlier.

This was done for several reasons. First, I wanted to offer moral support to Dave. I brought him here to see Hong Kong, not to be preached to. I did not want to subject him to any pressure to follow the group, so I figured if I declined then it would make it easier for him to. Second, I didn’t care to. I don’t feel like reading lines out loud, especially if I didn’t believe in them. I am not their monkey. Third, as I mentioned, I dislike people using social pressure to manipulate people. Under those circumstances I prefer to resist rather than to succumb, if only to teach that not all are so easily pressured. So we were skipped once again.

Then we got into verse recital, or rather, verse remixing. One verse was chosen from the booklet and the first few words were spoken, repeated, repeated again, followed by “Amen!”, and repeated a few more times. This was done for every few words, like a broken record player. It went on for a while and I had to pee.

At one point there was a discussion going on and I wasn’t sure if my body was physically acting up because the mind was disliking the external stimuli or if I really had to pee, but I went regardless. In retrospect it could have been my subconscious way of passive resistance, showing my disapproval of the bait-and-switch. It might have worked, because soon afterward dessert was served and Christian talk was over.

Then life went on. We returned to talking about Dave’s photography, I started chatting with a girl about the nutritional value of grapes. It was as though the past hour never happened.

A guest book was brought out. I was asked to sign it. I immediately suspected that Jane, the host, wanted my contact info. Confident that I will not succumb to pressure to do anything I disliked, I agreed without looking to see what the book actually asked me to fill out.

After I was done eating grapes, I washed my hands and went to the guest book. I saw that the majority of the guests had written their names and numbers or e-mail addresses. The exception was the last person, who had merely written enthusiastic thanks. So I followed suit. But even if that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t have given my contact info. Perhaps my e-mail, but not my phone number. I dislike shady maneuvering to pressure people.

I realize that my description of dinner was harsh. But rather than taking a positive spin on it, which I already have, I want to write down how I felt at the time. This is important for me to honestly take a look at my own reaction to this kind of pressure and for those who use these techniques to understand my internal reaction.

I feel that if a religion, philosophy, or lifestyle were truly good, it wouldn’t need these shady techniques to spread. Peer pressure feels wrong and if I were less immune to it, I would simply cease all communication, forever, no matter how many times they called me. That’s the beauty of caller ID.

But I am not that kind of person, and in fact I am an optimist. I would like to believe that this group of people is truly open to non-Christians. I would also like to see how they respond to resistance. If I told them, straight up, that I would never convert, would they instantly de-friend me? Or would we still be able to be friends? My hunch is that they would do the former, but I’d like to find out that I’m wrong.

So I will hang out with them at least once more, given the opportunity. I will not be so passive: I will ask them my real questions and see how they respond. Without my guest, Dave, I will be free put myself in a potentially awkward situation. Let’s see what happens.

Onto the positive interpretation: I understand that this group has found something good that has improved their lives, and want to share that joy. I, too, have found great things that improved my life and want to share it. So we are on the same boat, though we have found different sources of fulfillment. I’m glad that this group so generously welcomed us into their home, shared their food, and shared their experiences. I’m glad that Christianity has improved their lives. May it continue improving people’s lives. May all beings be happy!