Picking Fights

“So yesterday, before the men’s group, I went to a burger joint. There was this smoking hot girl…but I didn’t talk to her.”

“Aw!”

“She even checked me out.”

“Awww!!!”

“I’m happy to be hot.”

“I wouldn’t be. If I didn’t take action, if I didn’t work for it, I wouldn’t be satisfied. Being content with what life gives you would lead to a stagnant life.”

We went back and forth. I insisted that viewing it as a positive experience was better; Tommy insisted that we need to overcome difficulties to be happy. I took the Buddhist stance: appreciate the way things are; accept and celebrate the present. He took on what I perceived to be a “never be content, always strive for something better” stance.

Who was right is irrelevant. I was being defensive. I denied the possibility that he had a point. I didn’t even want to consider the other option: talking to her might have led to a more fulfilling outcome.

After going back and forth a few more times, I chose a different tactic. I criticizing his habit of saying “I feel” all the time.

Uh…who cares?

Instead of staying on topic and fighting the good fight, arguing and defending what I believed to be right, I sideswiped him. If any other person did that, I would call out that cheap move, trying to distract from the original argument. That I resorted to this tactic shows how little ground I stood on; furthermore, how desperate I was to win.

My ego fights dirty.