Dealing With Parents
I’ve had to deal with my parents’ lack of acceptance for years, but especially when I started pickup. I’m at a point where they still nag me here and there, but they’ve slowly started accepting the “new me”. Here’s what I did:
- Shut down their nags the moment they start. Instead of dodging the question of “when are you going to cut your hair”, etc., I told them straight up, “Thanks for your input, but I’m not cutting my hair.” Note that I acknowledged their input, but put my foot down. I did not say, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll do it later”, which means I’m both ignoring their input (“yeah yeah”) and avoiding the question (“I’ll do it later”).
- Emphasize the things you do for them. When spending time with my parents, or doing them a favor, I will point it out to them. If they ever compliment me for being a good son and later say I never listen, I will bring back that I just did the laundry for them or whatever.
- Accept that they may never accept you. This was a hard one for me. I wanted my parents to accept me so badly that I would always argue with them, trying to change them to understand and accept me. Instead, I accepted that they may always hate the way I look or act, but they’re still my parents, and I will love them regardless of how they feel about me. Instead of fighting them when they criticized me, I would make them dinner. Because there’s nothing wrong with them, they are perfect as they are. Just like I’m perfect the way I am. Practice what you preach. Accept your parents, and they will accept you.
This video helped me learn to accept (and love) the world as it is:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0]
Hope this helps!