Nocturnal
Wow. Staying at home has fucked up my sleep schedule even worse than going out.
Good night.
Wow. Staying at home has fucked up my sleep schedule even worse than going out.
Good night.
A long time ago I was a very sarcastic person. I still am, but I’ve taken people’s feelings into account a few years ago, and curbed it to not hurt my friends as much.
So recently I’ve been reading Something Positive, and I miss my old sarcastic self.
I want to bring back my old sarcastic self, and have this fantasy that it will not only make me feel better to be mean to people, I can actually get better game by giving less of a fuck about what people think.
Back to my noodles now.
Of course I’m copying that quote on my night off, reading web comics and eating noodles by myself.
But I put my damn best into these noodles.
Today I went out with my old wing. I cannot remember his pseudonym. Also I am drunk. So excuse the typos.
We stood around as usual, mostly because we were chatting with each other. I am typing with my eyelids closed so excuse any typose, as I typed previously.
We had good conversation.
Afterward I took the train to Queens and wound up at my local bar. I figure I should check it out, since it’s so close to my house. It turns out it was pretty nice. I met a bunch of locals. Some fat chick wanted to make out with me immediately. I said I couldn’t due to medical reasons. I just checked out the social dynamics of the bar or now. I befriended a bunch of people at the bar. According to the locals tere, the bar is actually pretty happening every day of the weekn. I plan on being there at leaswt once or twice more before I leave NYC.
There is a job I would like to take in NYC. If I get it I may be in NYC for a longer period of time. Let’s seet wah the future holds.
I can now get into a handstand against a wall by myself! I guess all that yoga training wasn’t for nothing! And now I have something my parents will admit they’re proud of! Double win!
Just rewatched the Matrix trilogy. I wonder if it’s possible to upload game into people’s brains.
My daddy yelled at me last night for a while, for having a work-free lifestyle, for learning how to meet girls, for wanting to teach others how to meet girls, for lying to them about the past (and not giving me credit for finally being honest), for enjoying life.
I sat there and tried to have a real conversation with him, rather than running away from his shit storm. Even when I had to pee, I endured the awkward silence as he thought of new reasons I was throwing my life down the drain.
This morning we joked about how much of a pain in the ass I am.
I guess he just needed to just get out some pent up emotion.
It’s interesting how, just by sitting through it, we seem to be closer. Instead of running away from the verbal assault, I let my dad know the type of man I am.
Whee! W arrived, we hung out, I started working on a makeover for her. Still in progress.
Martyr came and left. We mostly drank.
Music video fell through.
Jam session fell through. Place was flooded an hour before our session. Fuckers.
I’ve been staying home a lot to let my piercing heal. It’s no longer hurting, which is good news.
Tonight (20th) I went solo for the first time in a while. It took a lot of self-motivation, but eventually I remembered that every night I go out I have fun. Tonight was no different. Started a little slow, but after a while I was chatting up the whole bar.
It feels good to go solo.
Another day staying in. I’m almost afraid to look back at my blog entries and see how much of a hermit I’ve become.
Piercing is healing. No immense swelling like yesterday. My throat hurt the last few times I went out, even when not drinking. I hope my hermitting is helping my body heal as quickly as possible so I can go out and play again!
Was supposed to go on a date with a lesbian but she abruptly stopped texting me when I set the time and place. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked her to come to Queens.
Even though I haven’t gone out the past few days, I still enjoy a schedule of waking up at noon, eating lunch, taking a nap, waking up again, and starting my day. Usually this is necessary to prep myself for staying out until 4 am but now I’m just used to the schedule.
Also it’s boring in the house before 4 pm, everybody’s either working or out running errands.
Today I’ve been reading Focus, by the guy who blogs at zenhabits.net. I cleared out a lot of distractions and just sat and read. It’s been a while.
I’ve neglected yoga for a while. Today I did a full Ashtanga primary series. My right shoulder aches, possibly from the bass.
I meditated for 45 minutes. At a certain point in my meditation I usually decide, “enough” and cannot continue. I wonder if I will always be like this. My goal is to eventually meditate for an hour at a time, like I did back in Seattle.
Tomorrow W arrives. Next Monday Martyr arrives. I have a jam session this weekend as well as a conference with old friends. I won’t be able to stay a hermit even if I wanted to!
I was supposed to go on a date with Japanese girl today but she forgot about daylight saving.
Instead I spent the day tensely getting my parents used to my new piercing, sleeping to help my body heal, organizing a jam session with some locals, and miscellaneous chores around the house. Tomorrow I have a date with a lesbian chick. We’ll see how that goes.
I hope the swelling goes down soon.
Friday: Went to happy hour with an old coworker, then went to dinner with them. Happy hour cost $6 including tip, dinner cost $31 or so? Instead of being sober maybe I should just skip dinner.
Saturday: Met up with two friends, J & S. We went for a late lunch because I totally forgot I made plans to grab lunch late last night. But we still made it. Yum. We did a little shopping at Uniqlo. I am sad that Uniqlo has become The Gap. It feels like they sold out.
We went to Coyote Ugly. The bartender was surprisingly cute. The place was expectedly dead. It also smelled of barf.
S left so we went to a cheap place with $5 2-for-1 well drinks. We started on the Ketel One. I texted people that everything was going downhill from here.
We decided to get food. Because of our intoxication we stumbled into a Ukrainian place. Their dumplings (whatever they’re called in Ukraine) were delicious. We had the munchies.
In the middle of our dinner I suddenly realized I had enough liquid courage to get a piercing. I convinced J to get one with me. Thank you, Ketel One!
We stumbled into the piercing place. We kept reminding each other, “Act sober! Act sober!” We signed our forms, paid, and went into the back room. I got mine done and started chatting up the other patrons. Suddenly everybody looked at the back room. Apparently J was screaming like a girl, so I went in and made fun of him. I probably should have made a video.
Our piercer told us to stay away from beer, but hard liquor was okay. Sure. We went to the bar next door and got a few glasses of whisky. I made my one approach of the night, some snowboarder chick drinking by herself. I was acutely aware that she was out to get laid tonight. If I weren’t so drunk I would have taken her back to her place and fucked her. Instead I took her number. Thank you, Ketel One.
Next we went for sake at Decibel. The line was unusually fast. We split a bottle of sake.
Then… I black out. And so does J. In the morning, our pockets reveal that we went to Village Yokocho. We are both stunned by this revelation in the morning. I do remember having a hankering for takoyaki though.
Next thing I remember, I’m at a bus stop with J. I decide not to go home because I’d rather stick with J than take the train and walk home alone, in the cold. On the bus I pay for my fare. J’s fumbling and can’t find his card so I pay for his fare. He continues to fumble and then pays for his fare a second time.
On the bus ride I’m super social. I chat up everyone within arm’s reach. I don’t know where I’m getting off and J’s bent over nursing his intoxication, so every two minutes I shake him and ask where we’re getting off. Of course within seconds I forget and ask him again. After three or four times, all my neighbors know where we’re getting off and start answering in place of J.
We stumble back to J’s place. I pass out on the couch. Every two hours I wake up and, fearing a headache, drink several cups of water. It’s cold so I sneak around looking for a comforter. Door #1 reveals a passed out S: comforter occupied. Door #2 reveals an unoccupied comforter! I start tugging on it to reveal a passed out J. Door #3 is the linen closet. Success!
As I’m sleeping I feel small cat feet walk across my body every so often.
Sunday: I wake up at J’s place. J has no idea how or why I’m at his house. But he does remember screaming his address every few minutes on the bus.
We get breakfast. J is the walking dead. I hang out with S at the house until J drives me to the ferry.
The incoming ferry slams into the buffer zone so hard it visibly bends and bounces back. The lady next to me looks worried. I ask her if this is normal. She says no, and hopes that that’s not the next ferry out. Luckily it wasn’t.
On the ferry I text the girl from last night. No response. Duh, she probably got dick last night from the guy next to her instead of the drunk who had his priorities all fucked up. Thank you, Ketel One.
I get home, finally. After making a green smoothie and cleaning my piercing I pass out. I have no desire to go out until my body recovers from the alcohol and piercing.
I revealed my piercing to my dad just now. He was unreactive.
I’ve had to deal with my parents’ lack of acceptance for years, but especially when I started pickup. I’m at a point where they still nag me here and there, but they’ve slowly started accepting the “new me”. Here’s what I did:
This video helped me learn to accept (and love) the world as it is:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jniaUr_7438&fs=1&hl=en_US&rel=0]
Hope this helps!
Stayed up til 5 playing the bass. Naturally I didn’t want to wake up for lunch, but I had to because I made plans.
Dragged myself out, had lunch, went home, took a food coma nap.
It rained all day today. I did not want to go out and meet Achilles again. But I knew I should, for me and for him. So I dragged my ass out of bed and onto the subway, eventually.
I started warming up at Barnes and Noble, but nothing really hooked. We bounced to the Whole Foods, same thing. We bounced to the Forever 21, where I decided to be more teasing and in-your-face, a la Joe Natural, and things worked a lot better. Also I became more persistent. Three girls hooked but eventually said they had to continue shopping. In all cases I should have either shopped with them (before they mentioned it) or gotten their numbers. I am so out of the habit of getting numbers these days.
I need to take better care of my body, sleep better, eat better.
I may be playing bass in a music video! More news to come.
I’ve started forcing my strumming hand to use each finger sequentially, to make it easier for me to play sixteenth notes. I can play the first eight notes of Hysteria at around 76 bpm, but things are starting to fall apart. Muse plays it at 94 bpm. I am still struggling with playing the next eight notes at 40 bpm =P
Wow, listening through a bunch of Rage songs, it turns out the bass is played a lot more throughout their songs than the guitar. I should learn some.
I was fully ready to meet up with Achilles again, but my dad suddenly insisted that we have dinner together. *shrug* It’s okay, I rarely eat dinner with the family. While waiting for dinnertime, I played mahjong with my two aunts. I skill has gotten better the past few days, I’m stacking tiles faster and I won a lot of money from both aunts. Haha never misunderestimate the young!
After dinner I had food coma. Bleh. It was also freezing out. Fuck this, I stayed home and played the bass instead. I’m slowly working up my speed playing the bass line to Hysteria by Muse. I’m still having a little trouble playing with the metronome, but maybe it’s normal.
I want to take bass lessons but they’re going to cost $225/month. I think I’m going to go the cheap route.
I might be jamming with some guys this weekend. It’ll be the first time I play with other people!
Identity development is fun!
I’ve been listening to all the Brad P. CDs, interviews, etc. and one recurring theme has been to take up leadership roles. I had a discussion with Driver on our way to DC and he said the same thing. I think the universe is trying to tell me something.
So I decided to focus more on coaching other guys than on my own game. Today I took out a 30/30 member and just coached him the whole time. It was interesting breaking down his game, explaining what adjustments he should make, and doing demos for him. I didn’t do much cold approach with him, but that’s okay. His progress was pretty good!
After he left, I ran into Train Girl at the Whole Foods. Weird. Just like our last meeting, she would say “you’re crazy” every time I suggested anything sexual between us, was never compliant, and led a lot. I talked to her about the rally, and she just didn’t get Stephen Colbert. At that point I lost all respect for her. We were at the Standard Hotel bar. I didn’t see anything I liked, I was in a low state, she was nowhere to be found, and I was hungry. Fuck it, I ditched her.
Went and got some halal food. Yum. She called and texted me a few times. I texted her back, “I got kidnapped”.
After I finished my food, I was still in a low state, but I knew I was close to Plunge and should at least check it out. So in I went, fighting my inner pussy.
At Plunge, I realized how calm I was. I wasn’t in a bad mood, nor antisocial, just calm. I was probably still in state because of teaching and demoing and I wasn’t drinking, which made everything seem to happen a lot slower.
Still, I knew I needed to boost my state so I started chatting with some dude next to me. Then I saw a chick give me the eye a few times, but I wanted to warm up some more before I approached her so I approached two chicks right in front of me instead. Our conversation wound up taking about 20 minutes. This drunk guy invaded in the middle of our conversation with super high energy, but I didn’t mind because he acted as a temporary wingman. He eventually blew himself out and I had to deal with the two chicks by myself again. I wasn’t really throwing any super high impact material, but one of the chicks, a Canadian Cougar, was getting more and more interested in me. Logistics I knew were fucked, so I just took her number.
In order to save on train fare I had to leave after that approach. It was a long one, but I think the number’s pretty solid. We shall see.
After just an afternoon of coaching, I felt different. I didn’t take any shit from Train Girl, which I might have normally. It feels good to not only have a positive impact on someone’s life, but to improve myself.
Stayed in all day. It’s too cold. Instead of going out, played the bass a bit, checked the smoke detectors, hung out with family, gave advice on 30/30.
You know, just chilled.