Friday: Stayed in all day. Drove to DC with Driver for the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear. Got there at around 3am. Had a beer and passed out.
Saturday: Went to the rally. Met up with Nomad and Mr. S. Afterward we went to Dupont Circle, started drinking heavily. Hit on a bunch of chicks. After being denied access to a particular venue I took revenge by pissing in their hallway. Got caught mid-stream, got thrown out. I thought I was going to jail! Suffered from massive hangover the next morning.
Sunday: Hangover recovery day. Went to Eastern Market for brunch. Drove back to NYC. At a toll booth some black chick got off her shift just as I pulled up. I said, “Come on Shaniqua!” Her coworker later told me her name was Shaquina.
Played tour guide/tourist with Driver and Mr. S. Halloween is not nearly as cool as Burning Man, sorry.
Went out to a happy hour with a bunch of my friends and cousin. Drank a bunch, which of course raised my state. My friend had been itching to watch me demo for a while, so with enough inebriation I went in. Did an okay demo, won over a group of two guys two girls, then mini-isolated one chick for a while. I went in for more isolation but she declined so I left.
I iteratively hit on all my buddy’s friends, but they all had boyfriends or husbands. I explained a lot of game theory to my cousin, how I quickly find out the logistics and bounce if there’s no point in wasting time. We chatted a lot about random crap.
We went to Union Square to meet up with Aristokrat. Within a minute I saw a hot chick walk by so I left the group. I asked if she liked horses, to which she responded, “Why do people keep asking me that, I’ve been asked that three times already!” So I immediately switched gears and ran a huge stack of stuff on her. Kino wasn’t that good, except during my palm reading. I tried to isolate her, getting her to get coffee with me but she declined. Then I ran Pheromone Kid stuff on her, which she declined. She offered her number but I didn’t take it since she said she had a boyfriend and just wanted to be friends. In retrospect I should have told her that I’m not interested in making any more friends, and maybe given her my number if she wanted a booty call.
We went for pizza. My cousin and friend were impressed by my approach skills. That’s not saying a lot, but hey, I love external validation. =)
It’s interesting last night that I didn’t get blown out by a single girl. Well, girls on the street, but walking girls are super difficult anyway. My first approach, mixed group of 4, I won them over but I left when the chick declined my isolation. Maybe I should have worked that more. My second approach was two chicks who became three. They weren’t engaged in me so I left. Third approach was a chick walking on the street. Stopped her, ran a full stack, she even offered a number to me, which is something I haven’t gotten in recent memory. Not sure if it’s ever happened to me at all.
So in summary, my progress has improved in two areas: 1) my blowout rate is not super high anymore. It used to be that I get blown out within seconds, I’d chalk it up to “it’s a numbers game”, and keep moving. Something in my presence or delivery or other fundamentals has changed, for the better. Sweet! 2) I got offered a number without asking. This has never happened to me before. It feels good.
Went out with Mapen and ScottyFlamingo. I started running Pheromone Kid stuff, to no success. Of course, it being the 100-timer method, I did not hit the 100-approach mark yet.
However it did get me to be much more sexual in my conversation than in the past.
I went to a black club with ScottyFlamingo. Hit on a bunch of black chicks, made out with one. I ran out of conversation and ejected from that chick, which was a big mistake because afterward I couldn’t get back in. Alas.
Watching ScottyFlamingo game was inspirational. I found myself adopting his dominance.
Monday: Went to dim sum with mom and uncle. Approached two chicks at the Asian supermarket. Both looked at me like I was an ax murderer. Feh, Asians. Went on date with social circle chick. She showed no verbal interest but my kino wasn’t that aggressive. I touched her hands, shoulders, and face repeatedly but we were talking pretty platonic topics. I sat across from her during the first three drinks. She paid for my drinks and food. I bounced her to the bar across the street and we sat in a sofa together, but surprisingly she responded worse. As I walked her home I put my arm around her, which she seemed to pull away from at first, but I just left it there and she seemed to get used to it. Weird. Did not go for a kiss.
Tuesday: Got my hair did. Tranny scoped me out the whole time. I am hot shit.
Thurs: Went out for drinks with friends. Talked about game a little with them, one wound up following me to Meatpacking to watch me game.
Fri: Went to karaoke with Martyr and Raven. Had fun, approached a bunch of chicks.
Sat: Went to 230 Fifth. Hung out with Martyr and two other guys. Just listened to the Joe Natural interview, decided to insult as many chicks as possible, with the intent of having fun. Started slow, I couldn’t really insult chicks as much as I thought I could. Nice guy issues? Insulting chicks turned into teasing chicks. Game worked pretty well, I attracted a bunch of chicks and though state was low in the beginning of the night, things got better as the night progressed, which is usually the opposite of what happens (things usually go well in the beginning, then results drop off). I did a bunch of demos and made adjustments for the other guys. Trying to say increasingly outrageous things did not worsen the interactions, they actually improved them. However there were definitely points where I would hit a peak and all would go to shit. Much better than hitting a plateau and staling out due to boredom, though. So I will continue this Joe Natural/Tucker Max style and see how my game changes.
Adopting the “let’s try to put chicks on the spot” attitude also improved my delivery of existing routines such as horse girl, smart tests, etc.
Friday: I texted a bunch of guys but nobody was going out. Oh well, time to go alone.
On the subway I saw an Asian chick sitting by herself. I hesitated for a few stops, then told myself to start walking. So I did. I sat right down next to her, we started chatting. She mentioned she was meeting her boyfriend, but I wasn’t too sure because of her accent. I got off with her even though it wasn’t my stop. She offered her Facebook but I went for the number. She asked me for my number. Oh well I guess I didn’t generate enough attraction. I walked away. I was proud of myself for getting off the subway to go with a girl, and going for the number even though I felt anxious about it.
I looked around. There was a young looking girl sitting by herself. Ugh, anxiety! I didn’t want to walk across the nearly empty subway car, having everybody stare at me as I was obviously going to pick up this chick. Well, only one way to get rid of the anxiety. I started walking. I squeezed myself between her and some dude, then we chatted. I commented that she looked really young. She said she was. I said, “What are you, 16?” She said she was 15. I played it off, asking if she was even allowed to be out. She laughed. We continued chatting until she got off the train. Contrary to my mind’s nightmare scenario, nobody did shit, nobody called me a pedophile, nobody even looked. There goes another limiting belief.
I get out of the subway. mapen replied, saying there was a Burning Man party. We met up, went to Beauty Bar, approached a few chicks, then went to the party. The party was sweet. Full of happy ravers.
While waiting on line we chatted up the girls behind us. Two of the girls said they had an extra ticket and offered one to me. Sweet, saved me $30.
On the dance floor two tall chicks were just standing, so I teased them about it, introduced mapen, and danced with them. They were still stiff and backed away, so I looked for others.
I saw a girl standing by a pillar by herself, not dressed cool, not smiling. I did looked at her, made a smile with my fingers, and she smiled. We chatted a little. I stacked lots of attraction material, overgamed, and she walked away. Should have known, she was not cool enough to handle all I threw at her.
I walked by and saw a chick give me the eye, so I walked right up to her. I used a whole stack of material on her, but she was unresponsive to my kino. At the same time she didn’t leave. Weird. Eventually the guy in the couple next to us stepped in. Apparently it was her cousin. That killed any mood I had created. She left.
A girl walks toward me and I intercept her. We dance a little. She asks if I had any E. I told her, “I wish!” We kiss a little. She pulls away and says she has a husband. I tell her I have 8 girlfriends. She says he’s here, at the party. So I pull her to the bathroom. At the bathroom door she stops me, and introduces me to her husband right behind her. I introduce myself, we get along fine, I leave.
I run into the two girls who got me in for free, we dance a little. One of the girls went up into a dancing cage. I go up and we dance together for a while.
I’m tired and I have shit to do the next day so I leave. On the train ride back I sit next to a chick, and suddenly my attitude changed. I had complete social freedom, I started to really pay attention to what she was saying, my frame was solid, I reacted exactly as needed. Unfortunately she had to get off the train and I wasn’t about to get off a train on my way home at 2am.
A see another chick sleeping on the other side of the train. I hesitate, then ask, “would I fuck her if she were awake and wanted to suck my dick?” Yes, yes I would. Now that I have no more excuses, I walk over to her, sit next to her, brushing her leg as I sit so wake her up, then we start talking. I tease her a lot, there’s definitely attraction. I need to get off, so I quickly get her number and she takes mine. I can’t check the number in the subway, and when I call two days later it turns out to be either a fake or I punched it in wrong. Meh.
I can’t remember Saturday-Monday anymore.
Sunday Martyr arrives. We meet with some guys, drink, approach a bunch.
Monday Martyr and I tried to go to an open bar, but it was closed by the time we arrived. We wound up going to the West Village for cheap beer. I drank until I puked.
Tuesday I went out with ScottyFlamingo and saw how physical he gets with chicks. Wow it’s like I’m all the way on the other side of the spectrum. I had really low state the whole night, probably because I drank until I puked the night before.
Quantum and I went out to the West Village. I wing him a little. He approaches two chicks. The 17 year old needs to go to the bathroom. I pull her up to the bathroom but her cousin stops me. Alas.
Wednesday I decide to focus on state using a technique Quantum taught me: be social all the time, talk to everyone all the time. I started saying hi to everyone on my way to the subway, meditated on the subway, then started talking to everyone once I got off.
It worked damn well. I was in state the whole night, and when it dipped I would recognize that and start socializing again, so it never dropped too much.
We went to the beer garden. I approached the only two chicks in the place. We chatted a little, then two other chicks joined. One was pretty damn hot, an Eva Longoria look-alike. She’s attracted. I pull her to the bar. I have trouble connecting or building rapport with her, and she loses interest and gets back to her friends. Afterward I lose the whole group.
At one point I recognized that my state was dropping, all the chicks around me were with guys, and the rest were dudes, so I went to an older Asian chick at the bar by herself. After talking to her for five minutes I realize she didn’t speak English well. Ah, I know how to deal with these chicks! I kept talking and talking and talking, then took her hand and moved her around, and eventually took her to Martyr and told him the situation, made her shake his hand, told her I was only talking to her because I needed to build my state up, but that my voice was dying. Every time she said she needed to get back to her friends I just moved her again. Eventually, tired and voice dying, I told her to go back to her friends.
While getting tacos with Quantum, I saw some chick give me the eye. When we shake hands I say her hands are warm and that she’s going to be my heater. She said I can just put my hands in the pockets, so I put my hands and hers into my pocket. In my pocket I interlace our fingers and I rub her hand the whole time. Somewhere along the line she loses interest, pulls her hand out, and nearly backturns me. I think it was when I told her I was unemployed.
After being in state for a few hours I was totally wiped out. I recognize that my social freedom was not as high as it has been in the past, but that all my interactions went a lot better. I plan on continuing this practice until it’s a permanent habit.
“Bruce [Lee] considered training number one. He was constantly training. When he watched TV or went to the movies, he conditioned his knuckles. When he was driving, he worked the hand grips. If he walked to a bookstore and came to a hill, he always ran. He never wasted time.”
I haven’t written field reports in a while, but then again I haven’t been out picking up chicks in a while.
Tuesday: While I was at the supermarket, I spotted a tall thin Chinese chick shopping with her mom. I felt the anxiety, but since my mom wasn’t done shopping, I had no excuse not to approach. I knew the first step. I started walking. Our eyes locked for a moment, but I walked right by her. I texted Martyr, “Gutterball!”
I looked up, and our eyes locked again. Her mom left her alone, two feet away. Okay, now I have to go. I walked up to her, opened her with horse girl. Midway through the opener her mom returned. I said hi, then continued talking to the daughter. She smiled, we had a small moment. Her mom walked off. She pointed to her mom, smiled, and said, “I’m sorry, I have to go…”
First approach in an everyday environment in a while! Not to mention she’s Asian, which I’ve always had trouble attracting. There goes another limiting belief.
Next I was on the subway. Another environment I normally do not approach. I spotted a naughty secretary sit down across the train. I walk over to her, sit down next to her, open her with horse girl. It seems to fall flat, but I am getting off the train anyway so I get up to leave. She tells me, “see you next time I’m galloping around!” “I knew it! It was you!” We smile and part.
Lesson: I am still misreading girls’ attraction, so I’d better stay until they slap me or fuck me.
Wednesday: After dinner, I was supposed to meet up with two wings. Both canceled on me. So I decided to walk home and picked up chicks along the way. I chickened out a lot. I followed a chick into a Walgreens, lost her, found her on line, and, too scared to approach her while she was on line, walked out of the store. Feh.
A chick runs past me, trying to catch a bus. I catch up to her and comment that she runs really really fast in high heels. She laughs, I follow up with horse girl. She’s laughing but her bus comes.
I walk to the mall, go down to the DSW. Talk to a black chick but I eject after the opener.
I spot a chick at the top of the escalator, turn around and open her. I open her, we talk for two minutes. She’s waiting for someone coming up the escalator. It looks like it’s her mom, but for some reason she says I’d better get going before he gets mad. So I pussy out and leave, fearing an imaginary boyfriend.
I go to another mall, ask some chicks where the bathroom is. I pee.
I walk around the mall, it’s pretty dead. I head to the food court. Some chick is staring at me as I come down the escalator. I don’t approach, walk around the food court, getting approach invitations from chicks here and there, and promptly leave.
As I cross the street a blonde is walking toward me. I open her but it doesn’t hook.
I start walking home. There’s nobody out. I walk past a bar, peek through the tinted windows, but don’t see anything. I’m almost home when I decide that there’s probably no more girls out and the bar’s my best option. So I turn back.
It’s karaoke night. I order a beer, say hi to the chick next to me. There’s someone’s stuff in the chair between us so I don’t take the seat. The guy comes back and it’s obvious (in my creative mind) they’re together, so I walk to the back of the bar and check it out.
Two girls just finished singing karaoke, so I cheer.
I talk to two Malibu rum girls, chatting them up a little. They’re not really hot and I don’t think I’ll be able to pull them so I go look for other chicks.
I see a chick give me the eye. Her friend walks out to take a call. I take her friend’s seat, open her with horse girl, it hooks. Her friend returns, I say hi. I ask, “Have you ever had sex with someone and totally regret it?” She cracks up, tells her friend, then after a long while turns back to me and says, “It was nice meeting you.” We shake hands and I turn my back to her.
After I’m done with my beer I bounce. No one else to chat with.
As I walk home I shoot a few chicks a random text. Catholic Asian Girl seems most interested so I call her. I realize my conversational repertoire is lacking, so I think of all the interesting stories since we’ve last seen each other, then practice telling them to her on the phone. I wind up walking to her apt but she refuses to come out because she’s already in bed. We talked for over an hour.
Finally I walk home.
Lessons: - It’s obvious my social freedom has decreased. No problem, nothing a few more approaches or social freedom exercises can’t cure. - I’m glad I tried out the “regretful sex” story, even though I didn’t make it through. It’s probably the first time I put new material right after the opener. - It’s been a while since I’ve done cold approach, especially going solo! Very proud that I did it. - An adjustment I made a few days ago was to calm down and slow my speech, especially during the opener. It definitely helps hook the girl but I still need to stay in! And approach more, of course. - I can attract Asian girls off cold approach, not just from social circles.
“I want to be naughty. Can you fuck me now?” These were the last coherent words coming from her mouth.
Let’s rewind a bit.
I met her a few weeks ago through mutual friends. She was obviously attracted, constantly asking questions about me and talking to me. I had done some light kino, putting my arm around her, touching her knees, pulling her hair. Due to some drama with the social circle, I didn’t do obvious flirting. I did get her number, so we started texting back and forth. Being Asian, all the sexual innuendos were either ignored or not understood.
Eventually I pushed for a date. We met. I went for a hug, she didn’t respond. I was hungry, so we got some takoyaki. We walked around, looking for a used metal studded belt. Things were still stiff, so I decided to grab dinner. My plan was to chill and chat with the chick, let us get to know each other better, before moving onto more sexual topics and physical escalation.
We went to a tea place, had a long dinner facing each other, absolutely no kino. Conversation was flowing, fun but not flirty. Basically I was building comfort the whole time.
Dinner was over, so I suggested we check out this wine bar we passed earlier. It was completely packed, so we walked around. I told her I was looking for a place that wasn’t too loud, so we could just chat.
We wound up at a hotel lounge, which was perfect. I spotted these giant cushy chairs facing each other and jumped into them immediately, but as soon as I sat down I realized that, once again, I couldn’t touch her. Oh well. We had two bottles of wine. The alcohol loosened things even more, and after the first bottle I moved us to the couches, where we could touch each other better.
I spread my arms out on the couch. She shifted and moved away a little. I turned away, continued chatting. Then I moved in a little again. This went back and forth until I had my arm wrapped around her and she was touching my leg. A huge improvement from the stiffness earlier! It’s nice that this kind of mirroring interest/disinterest and persistence has become natural to me now.
We talked about our past relations. I let her know my first two girlfriends lasted 3-4 years each, but after that it was nothing but one night stands. I told her I could never do long distance relations again. She said she could. I said I like sex too much. She told me to just cheat. I told her I don’t believe in cheating, but I believe in open relationships.
All these things warmed her up to me. Talking about how I have or could have hooked up with girls she knew shows preselection. Telling her my history of long and short relationships shows I can be both a boyfriend and a fling. I let her know I enjoy sex, but that I still have my morals and won’t lie or cheat my way to sex.
We ran out of wine, it was last call, and the couple across from us left two half-finished and one untouched mixed drinks. We took their untouched glass and started playing drinking games to finish it. I lost once and she lost three times after that.
She still seemed coherent. We left the lounge and walked around a little. We passed by a bar where I knew my friend bartended at sometimes, so I pulled her in. The bouncer said I could go in, but she’s too drunk. It was only then that I realized how wasted she was. I quickly checked the bar, my friend wasn’t there. I came back out and we walked to a corner. We made out for a few minutes.
I knew it’s a done deal at this point. I hailed a cab. We continued making out in the cab until we arrived at my place.
Here is where logistics can screw you over. I don’t live in NYC. I’ve been staying with my parents while I’m visiting. My mom has a habit of watching TV in the guest room (my room) until she falls asleep, so I normally go home and wake her up to go back to her room. Not exactly a bachelor pad!
I did some quick thinking. The basement was empty, and it has a couch. I’ll just bring the chick there and we’d have the whole floor to ourselves. Wrong! It turns out my mom was thinking thee same thing, and wanted to have a private phone call in the basement. As I was bringing the chick down, my mom stared back up. I quickly waved her to go back upstairs. Luckily she didn’t seem to mind.
We kissed on the couch, we got naked, I put on a condom, BAM! At one point in time after we fucked once or twice, she kept squirming, saying she should go home. I told her I don’t feel like moving, that I’d drive her in the morning. This went on a few times, so I started fingering her until she said, “I want to be naughty. Can you fuck me now?” Of course, I said no. I made her ask me a few more times before letting her fluff me so I could fuck her again. After reading WuTang’s lay report, I was inspired to be rougher to this chick, spanking, choking, yanking her hair, slapping her pussy.
We had a lovely evening.
Lessons learned: - Be persistent. At the beginning of the night, she was boring and standoffish. I didn’t give up and kept on track until her hormones took over. - Lead, lead, lead! The whole night I showed her where to eat, what to do, where to sit, etc. Not once did she say no to anything I said. The only negative feedback I got was when I touched her, she pulled back a little. That told me she needed time to feel comfortable around me. Chatting and bouncing to different venues made her trust me. - Bring lube. First time fucks can get messy and dry, lube would have made sex a lot more fun.
Recently I’ve been working on connecting better with people. Though I’ve talked to literally thousands of people, mostly girls, I have been unable to build connections that are as strong as the ones I had with my friends from school or girlfriends. So I focused on this part of me for a few months.
This led me to learn about buddhism, meditation, and throwing out a lot of the pickup mindset (attraction, being high value, etc.) Surprisingly it led me to strengthen my existing relationships as well, namely with my friends and family.
Being compassionate with others requires two things. The first is to understand where they are coming from. The rest of the world, no matter how much I disagree with them, is not stupid. There is always a reason why they do what they do, want what they want. Perhaps they grew up in a traditional Asian family, where they were taught that family is most important, that you must give your life to your family. That is not wrong. It is not right, either. It’s simply the way things are, simply the way they were brought up. Growing up in New York, forcing myself to be brainwashed by Brad, I’ve become a lot more independent-minded, standing up for what I believe to be right, taking care of my own needs. Again, not wrong nor right.
I have been working hard to understand everybody I disagree with, to understand where they are coming from, and to share my views as well. When I find myself disagreeing with someone, instead of looking at all the flaws in their arguments, I question their flaws. These are not flaws at all, really, just points where I disagree with, points which if given an opportunity to explain, I might wind up agreeing with.
The second thing compassion requires is acceptance. This is tricky. Instead of wondering why my mom doesn’t like my hair, I’ve simply accepted that she doesn’t like my hair. That’s just her taste. I don’t try to convince her, I accept her as she is. I accept that she does not accept me. Ironically, once I stopped fighting with her on this, I started enjoying her company much more. I became a more pleasant person. I am not insecure about my looks, I take amusement from her reaction.
The part that’s tricky is where my dad tries to get me to be a family-oriented man. Perhaps it’s tricky only because I haven’t spent that much time doing it. He is so set in his ways, the way he was brought up to believe that family is everything, that explaining my position that I don’t care if I die having achieved nothing, that I don’t care if I don’t have children, that I don’t want to make money to support my extended family, that it breaks my heart every time I even veer near the topic. His reaction is usually loud and angry, which makes it difficult for me to stay calm and collected. It is difficult to accept a man screaming in your face.
The truth of the matter is, I do care about all those things he preaches about. It’s just not at the forefront of my mind, they are secondary. I feel that having those as my primary focus will derail my development as a man, as a human being. I cannot accept regressing to being my former self, doing what my parents and society told me to do without believing in it.