June 14: Workshop 5 Day 3
Day 3
“You know what would be great? It would be great if you were less judgmental and more open minded. It would be great if you were more open minded when meeting people.”
For girls, stage 2 kino is sexual, for guys it’s violent.
State: You can try to get in state at venue, or you can try to live your whole life in state. Comes from doing things in life. “I love this shirt.”
Eliminate state killers.
HW:
Everyone loves everyone
Connection building
When pulling girls, be more active in dealing with obstacles, risk it all.
Read article about winging.
Identity
Even without a well developed identity, you can have confidence in knowing what you want.
Younger guys have more leeway for lack of identity.
Leadership ability
Try to put yourself in leadership roles, picking places to eat, among friends/coworkers, teaching roles
What leaders know that others don’t:
When to lead and when to follow. If you try to lead in inappropriate times, it shows a lack of leadership ability. For example, have strong leader, then another person comes and tries to take charge, causes conflict and no leader. When you see a vacuum, jump in. If someone offers to help, perhaps share leadership. Sometimes someone is already a good leader, so just shut up and follow.
Very important to listen to people. Hard to do sometimes. Many have problems with authority. When you are leader, you have authority, and many blame authority, get angry at you. Don’t take things personally, it’s not always about you.
Important to demonstrate you’re working for a higher purpose.
Sexual confidence:
The belief that if I can get this girl in bed, I bet I’d rock her world, I bet she’d be back for more.
How to develop:
1. Have a lot of sex. Doesn’t have to be with a lot of girls, can be done with one or two or three. Lots of sex with lots of women will help, but it’d be better to do it with them repeatedly because the first time isn’t always good.
2. Learn sexual techniques
If you have sexual confidence, you can get women in spite of many things.
Comfort zone: one of the easiest ways to measure your inner game. What happens when you’re outside, do you take yourself out of situation? If you do, it could turn into a low quality of life. Being comfortable with the unknown is one of the keys to inner game.
Don’t want to overload yourself expanding your comfort zone.
Students with small comfort zones seem to want to learn natural game.
Ability to grow/learn:
If your motivation is low, not going to learn much. Not the same as lazy! Motivation is directly tied to expectation of success. If you’re unmotivated you don’t think you’re going to get anything out of it. Motivation is directly tied to success, can’t fake it.
How to beat it: set a series of small goals. No need to set big goals right away. “Going to go out for an hour and open one woman.” Next day climb up, two women, three, use new opener.
Ability to learn also comes from ability to observe. Need to have role models, imitate them. Embrace and extend.
Ability to empathize:
If you can’t empathize to people, it’s hard to relate to people, can’t connect, can’t feel. Need to learn their basic motivations. If you trace their motivations to their root, most have the same. Love, status, wealth, safety from danger. Next time you don’t understand someone, try to figure out their core motivations.
Need to be able to empathize with cockblockers, people who work there.
General passion for life: There are people out there who go for it with everything they’ve got in everything they do. Always balls to the wall. Tim Ferris’s 4 hour workweek.
Others accept their lives, don’t do much, let others push them around, don’t even have dreams, never felt they have freedom to have dream.
Begin by turning off voice “You can never do that.”
Blockages and obstacles: Difficult to figure out, varies from person to person.
Blockage: a flow of learning, some people learn faster than others, some achieve faster than others, some get results faster. Sometimes it’s because of blockage. Need to figure it out to increase learning faster. Ask a few people what your blockages are, it’s hard to figure out your own.
All kinds of obstacles, need to employ variety of techniques to overcome. Need to be flexible when it comes to beating obstacles and learning.
Leaders don’t get permission, they give themselves permission.