Day 64/360: She Almost Broke my Fingers but I DID NOT EJECT

I wake up before noon. Freaky. I video chat with my good English friend. I love technology.

I take a nap. Uh oh. I wake up at 7 p.m. Damn it. There goes day game, again.

It’s Sunday so Mr. S and I go for asparagus pizza. It’s pretty good. I took a picture but Nomad has my USB cable so I can’t post it.

Mr. S and I chat about game, life, and what Brad has us working on. In some ways we are polar opposites, so it’s interesting to see things from his perspective.

I drop Mr. S off, chat with Dylan a little, and go out. I wear my in-progress Brad P. jacket. It’s mostly black but I think my hair is so eye catching that it’s better to have the jacket as a supporting piece. I’m hesitant to go out like this, which means I’m expanding my comfort zone.

I walk up and down the rocker clubs. It’s mostly guys.

I see a couple walking. I walk ahead of them, then turn ask if they know where I can get cotton candy. I don’t use the Rodman technique. They answer but walk past me.

I see two girls at the corner:

Me: Do you know where I can get cotton candy at this time of night?
Brunette: I love cotton candy!
Me: Me too! Do you know where I can get some?
Brunette: Hmm, I don’t know.
Me: Really? Where I’m from, I can get cotton candy anytime. There’s always some Mexican dude selling it at the corner.
Brunette: I know! Where are the Mexicans?
Me: Come on, you guys look like you go to the circus a lot.
Brunette: I haven’t gone to the circus in a long time.
Blonde: I’ve never gone to the circus.
Brunette: Just because I go to the circus doesn’t mean I know where to get cotton candy!
Me: Sorry, did I just interrupt a lesbian DTR?
Brunette: Haha, no, we’re just just having girl talk. Her boyfriend’s right there .
Me: What is girl talk, anyway? An old girlfriend of mine keeps trying to do girl talk with me and I just hang up on her. But the few times I don’t, she tells me boy troubles. This one time I didn’t tell her something, and she accuses me of breaking girl code. I’m not even a girl! Do you know what girl code is?
Brunette: No, never heard of it.
Me: Do you know?
Blonde: No.

The brunette finally suggests I go to some store to find $20 cotton candy. I leave. In retrospect I could have stayed longer, the brunette liked me. But I wanted the blonde, who was much hotter but had a boyfriend a block away.

I drive to the bars. Most places are desolate. I go into a cantina. The front is empty and the back says it’s closed. I go anyway. The moment I enter an Asian girl eyes me but she’s with a big group.

A blonde with a brunette also eyes me. I start walking out, then turn back and talk to the blonde. Horse girl. The brunette says I’m too young to know her. I say, “Yeah, totally. I’m ancient,” and continue with the opener. The brunette keeps interrupting, asking for my age. I tell her 85. She asks several times and each time I say 85. She says she’s going to break my fingers if I don’t tell her. I tell her 85 again. She grabs my left fingers and bends them backwards. I try to free my fingers but she bends my right fingers. Finally she lets me go. I call her violent. She refuses to talk to me unless I tell her my real age.

I am tempted to leave after this physical attack but I don’t. Instead she leaves, taking her empty glass. I ask the blonde if she’s going to get a drink to throw in my face, then follow up with my drink in face story. The brunette comes back with another girl. I ask if she’s the bodyguard. The bodyguard and blonde hug and chat.

I turn my attention to the brunette, since I got her so worked up. I finally tell her my real age. She introduces herself with a man’s name. I question her name, and she shows me two forms of ID. She’s from New York, so we talk about that. She says she’s the guitarist for a band. I tell her I’m trying to learn and she tells me what guitar to get, et cetera.

The bodyguard leaves so I reengage the blonde. I ask if she’s in a band too. She says she’s into yoga. I tell her I want to do yoga too, but the closest thing I do is Wii Fit. She gives me a recommendation for yoga that will kick my ass. I put this info into my iPhone and the guitar recommendation as well. The blonde says she wants to get a drink so they both leave. I have no reason to stay so I leave with them.

On my way out I talk to the brunette. I don’t remember what was said, but I am at the bar with them both. I am thinking the girls don’t want to talk to me anymore so I get their “contact info”. They tell me their e-mail addresses. The brunette tells me nerdy facts about the two of them. I make fun of them for being nerds. I leave instead of continuing the conversation.

What an interesting interaction! The brunette threw tons of shit tests at me, which was good practice. (I couldn’t absurdify the finger breaking, sorry Brad.) The brunette was clearly the more interested one. I should have grabbed a seat instead of standing while they were sitting on bar stools at the table. I shouldn’t have gone into the student-teacher frame, having both girls teach me about guitars and yoga. I should have touched the girls more. And of course I shouldn’t have left when I reengaged them at the bar.

My interactions are getting violent! I blame my presence.