Day 59/360: Out of Breath with Bad Hair

Nomad and I have constant urges to approach women now. Seeing hot women while late for appointments or in the middle of running gives us blue balls — unless we approach.

19. C<5: "How much do you want to bet she's Asian?" "Nothing," I respond. Nomad and I ran past her: she's not! We reach the end of the track and head back. I see the girl from afar. I slow down and catch my breath. Do you like horses? It's not her. She keeps walking and I keep running. No blue balls!

We go to the Apple store. A girl fixes Nomad’s phone in five seconds.

We go to Whole Foods. When I enter a venue I approach the first hot girl I see to warm up. Shit, the first girl I see is on the phone. Next!

20. C<5: I see another cute girl. Do you like horses? Cat routine. She's edging away from me the whole time. Okay, let's not make her scream. Nice meeting you!

21. C<5: I see Nomad checking out an Asian chick. Not bad. Do you like horses? (Five seconds pass.) No. Okay, I guess she doesn't speak English.

22. C<5: As I head to the cashier I spot a sample girl. Cute, blonde, wearing a hat. Nomad starts saying, "That girl in the hat…" and I'm off. She's giving away cookies. "Are they raw?" No, they're cooked at 120°. Do you like horses? She politely listens but edges away from me. I get the message. Have a good day.

I’m in the escalator. The guy next to me compliments my Rage Against the Machine shirt, then says Tom Morello just left the Apple store. Damn it all!

I tell Nomad about the lukewarm responses. He thinks it’s my presence. I see my reflection — what a dork! No wonder nobody wanted to talk to me. (I rushed out with wet hair, without any product.) What a difference presence makes!

C<5: 4