Day 46/360: Solo at Rocker Club, Approaching Spanish Girls

Woke up and did Wii Fit. Okay exercise, but I realize it’s been taking longer and longer. I need to only do a select few exercises from now on.

Went for sushi with Drew. Couldn’t get to the sushi buffet, it was closing and they wouldn’t let us in at all. Fine. Went to our new favorite sushi place. Had fantastic sushi with no rice, perfect for my raw diet. Had a great chat with the chef, got a free roll. Wound up cheaper than going to the sushi buffet. Bye bye sushi buffet, it was great not knowing ya!

Went to a rocker club by myself. I had anxiety going solo since I haven’t gone solo in a while. Then I realized that this is the perfect opportunity for me to get over it. Did the night right: read my cheatsheet, adopted the “I’m here to learn” mentality, started doing my ten warm up sets.

121. C<5: I was standing next to a fireplace to warm myself. Two girls came up, excused themselves to get to the fireplace to light a pipe. I said, "This place is dead. Are you responsible for getting people here?" She said she didn't work here, but people usually come in about an hour. We small talked a little more, but I left because it wasn't going anywhere. Kicked myself on the way downstairs for not pushing.

122. C>5 P: Got a water to calm my nerves. An Asian girl with two friends was close by. Almost didn’t approach. Horse girl, cat, smart tests, smart/hot/rich. She was kept answering everything with “maybe”, so I started making fun of her in front of her friends. Her friends left and after a while she decided she wanted to join them, though I think it was due to social awkwardness rather than lack of attraction. Invited her to our BBQ, got her number.

123. C>5 P: Saw a chubby girl across from me. Horse girl, smart tests, smart/hot/rich. She was from out of town, we talked about where she’s been, which celebrities she’s seen. While talking to her, girl I met a few weeks ago came up to me and said hi, said it was her birthday. I introduced the two, I told her I’d talk to her later. Social proof! Continued talking to the chubby girl. Two of her hot friends came by, one of them was very friendly toward me. I started chatting with her more. The other two became very quiet so I included them in the conversations. Cosmo quiz. The friendly one was very engaged in conversation with me, the other two were yawning. They excused themselves. I pulled the friendly one aside and got her number for the BBQ.

124. B: Tried to open a girl from behind while she was walking away. Fail.

Anxiety came back in the form of apathetic avoidance: avoiding approaching thinking they’re not hot enough or I didn’t feel like talking to them.

125. B: Saw a familiar face. She was alone, saw an earring on the bar next to her. Asked if it were hers, she said no, then went on about how we met a few weeks ago. I said Dylan’s line, “I’m such a douchbag. I forgot your name.” She spoke very softly and I’m partly deaf, so I told her to repeat everything she said three times. Eventually she got tired of repeating herself and sprinted out of the interaction. It was then that I remembered who she was! She was the girl with glow sticks who saw me and sprinted in the opposite direction after I freaked her out by over gaming her.

I suddenly remembered that I’m also working on promoting, so now I have more of a reason to get girls’ numbers and to approach.

126. C<5 E: Saw a girl making her way through the crowd. Horse girl, finished it, got the hug. She reminds me that she was friends with the Asian girl earlier. We chatted a little. I invited her to the club I'm promoting, got her e-mail.

127. C>5 EE: Some guy started talking to me as though he knew me. He then abruptly asked if I knew who he was. I bluntly said no. He asked if I was someone else. I said no. He said, “No wonder you don’t know who I am!” We chatted some more, excused himself. I later saw a girl with cool pants. Complimented her on her pants, she said she got them in NY. We vibed about the NY commonality, then it turns out the guy was friends with the girl! We started chatting some more. He seemed like a cool guy, so I got his e-mail to do some networking, then he left. I turned my attention back to the girl, who was talking to another guy. We chatted some more. I tried to entice them to go to the club I am promoting. Girl hates the club. Guy catches on and asks if I’m a promoter. I got his e-mail to invite him. Odd that in this whole interaction I got the two guys’ e-mails but not the girl’s contact info. I didn’t even ask, I was so put off by her attitude.

I left the place after circling it twice. Apathetic avoidance. Went to another bar.

128. C>5 E: The place was dead, except for five girls all together. Got my water to calm my nerves. Walked to the back, nothing. Walked back to the front. Finally, I told myself I’m here to learn. Horse girl. It turned out they didn’t speak English. Instead of ejecting I made the best of it. I escalated as much as I could, played around trying to spit broken Spanglish to them, used baby words to express myself as best I could. One girl was particularly interested in me. The others went to the dance floor and left me alone with her. I escalated her while exchanging Spanglish with each other. Found out she’s leaving tomorrow for San Diego, then Vegas, then she’s out of here. Tonight’s her only night in town. She asked me how old I was, I tried to tell her I’m 80. She said she’s 19. I then realized I said I was 18, so I used my fingers to tell her, EIGHT ZERO. Then I told her I take a lot of vitamins and exercise. It was fun trying to break the language barrier. One of her friends came by to pull her to the dance floor, so I left. Got her Facebook because I’m in one of their pictures.

Got home. Chatting with Dylan, I realized something. In the past, I wasn’t sure how to describe my identity because I do so many things but none of them were fully developed. Instead if a girl asks what I do, I should say, “Wow, that’s a tough one. Let’s see. I moved out here to go on an adventure, trying a ton of new things. I’m working on my own clothing line, I’m promoting for a club, I’m a snowboard instructor. Of course I had a typical 9-5 job in the past but that wasn’t not for me.”

I used to think I should describe one of these things fully, as though that’s all I am, but it was very one dimensional and shallow because I didn’t do much of each of these. But the fact is, I’m working on all these things because I am chasing my dreams, which is much cooler than most well-established 9-5 jobs.

Pretty good night tonight. Went out alone, got a few numbers, a few e-mails. Got into a good rhythm of approaching and pushing interactions.

B: 2
C<5: 2
C>5: 4
E: 4
P: 2