Fader In-field portion review/FR

Fader let me split the theory portion and the in-field portion into two days, so this is a continuation of my 1-on-1 with him.

Friday I went out with Fader. I came in late because I had to nap and overslept, which I needed because I had been drinking until 3 a.m. the night before. He questioned my priorities, because although I go drinking until 3 a.m. every Thursday, this Friday was not a normal Friday: I had paid quite a lot to get serious help, and I was fucking it up. This is actually an inner game issue for me. Very often, when I have an important event the next day, I will be so excited that I will stay up and surf the web, or do something similarly time wasting. I will then feel like shit the next day, knowing full well what happened. This self-destructiveness, fear of success, or whatever, is definitely something I need to address.

Anyway, he was already in set when I arrived. He asked me if I needed a drink, I said yes, he told me to put it on his tab. As I was trying to get a drink, he started correcting me on all the things that I forget to do when in a bar in the beginning of the night, from simple things like smiling to how to get the bartender’s attention.

I got my drink, took a few sips, and he pointed out a 2 set for me to open. I opened the set, the girl I opened loved it, and we started talking. She asked me how I did my hair like that, saying she wanted hers to do that as well, I played with her a bit. I tried to kino but didn’t do as much as I should have. It turns out the 2 set was a part of a larger group, which later arrived. I quickly introduced myself to each of them, dealing with their shit tests until they lost interest in me, except for the girl I opened. I did not isolate, which allowed the girl to occasionally backturn me and talk to her friends for a bit. I hung in there for the first few times, since she kept turning back to me, but eventually I got sick of it and ejected.

Once out, Fader critiqued the angle which I approached, telling me how different openers need to entered at a different angle due to their nature. I had walked around the girls to approach them, which was awkward. He said that the girl was really into me, which was why I was able to stay in for so long, even to the point where the girl’s friends left me and her alone. But I should have isolated and qualified.

Fader pointed out a 2 set that kept changing into a 3 set into a 2 set into a 5 set and back. I approached the easiest to access girl, who was sitting down. I should have sat down immediately, but instead I stood and talked down to them. The girl was interested, though, and actually stood up to hear me better, which was pretty cool. I was entertaining the two girls when Fader came in to wing me. I introduced him to the two girls, he asked me which one was the trouble maker, I pointed to the thinner one, which I had at that point not talked to as much. He then proceeded to take the girl I pointed to and isolated her on the couch, and I did the same. I found this puzzling, but it turned out that he noticed she was engaged and was doing me a favor.

Some of the girls’ friends came in, she immediately got up to talk to them, so I did the same thing and introduced myself to each one. The girls kept switching in and out, and I kept introducing myself to each new girl and engaging her. After a while, though, all girls left and unfortunately Fader did not notice. I took the chance to go to the bathroom and when I came back, I let Fader know I was done with the set. (He later apologized for not noticing that I was done with the set. It’s all cool, man!)

He again critiqued me, telling me I should have isolated the moment I had a chance, not after he had done so. I should have noticed the engagement ring, and I should have treated my wing better, facing him and giving him my full attention, explaining that I had just met these girls, and I’m already placing them at a higher importance level than my friend, whom I had known for far longer?

To be continued…