Superiority Complex

Software projects often receive feature requests which end with
pathetic excuses such as “I would do it, but I don’t have the skills
to.” To me this translates to “I haven’t tried. If I had, I would
have had some progress and would have reported my failures. I would
rather have other people do work to achieve my goals.” (This irksome
laziness is not foreign to me; I myself participate in it, though
I no longer do so in software projects’ mailing lists.)

I’ve come to realize that I am disgusted by what I recognize as my
own past behavior. I instinctively interpret my present as an
improvement of my past, leading to the conclusion that when others
do as I used to, they are making my mistakes. Their ignorance
prevents their realization—another mistake. This may be a
twisted form of a superiority complex, but I can’t help but wonder
if it is also a form of self-hate.

Adding to my troubled self-analysis is my recurring nostalgia. In
contrast to the above scenarios, in these cases I feel that the
past may be better than the present and wish for it back. Lost
friendships are often the theme, leading me to attempt a futile
contact—another failure reminding me of what good I lost.

“I don’t like myself much.” (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)