Stereograms

I hate stereograms. I’ve been trying to view them since I was in junior high school.

I remember in eighth grade how I used to have software that could actually create stereograms. I would print them out and bring them to school, making 3D “FUCK YOU”s and stuff; yet in the end, I was the one left out of all the fun.

Today Wendy brought back all those bad memories.

Apparently, she had purchased a stereogram book from Taiwan and smuggled it back to the States. She was cleaning her room today and found the book. When I informed her that I could never see them, she decided that tonight would be the night I started to.

For a couple of hours, she kept barking commands at me, telling me to do funky optical acrobatic stunts. (“Look at here with your right eye! Now, look there with your left! You’re moving your right eye!”)

The book had four different ways of viewing stereograms; we must have tried twelve. I’ve tried everything from staring into space to concentrating on Pikachu to putting a piece of paper between my eyes.

When I broke down and cried, she threatened me by withholding food. I tried and tried, but she herself finally broke and fed me.

It reminded me of those days when my mom used to force me to stay up and finish every problem in every section I was tested in.

No, I’m not saying you’re old, Wendy.