Cutism
Htob syar era yllis.
Okay, you two play now.
Htob syar era yllis.
Okay, you two play now.
I didn’t expect that to work or I would have come up with something more profound.
Um…
Oh, screw it.
se
Today I went to the video store. While I was paying for the rentals, Sharon noted that renting an adult movie cost more than renting anything else. I said that that’s because the clerks have to clean them when they are returned. The clerk chuckled and smiled in a knowing way.
Yesterday I helped my cousin move out. I moved all two boxes and three bags out of her vacant room into my mom’s minivan, which I had driven to school two weeks prior.
Then Wendy and she helped me move out. We wound up filling up the minivan and Wendy’s car. I also had to temporarily abandon my chair at Eric’s room, to be used and abused by Jason. It’s good to have guy friends. It makes life as a skinny twerp so much easier. By the time everything was done, the quad office was closed and I couldn’t check out tonight. However, I still had to check out before 10 a.m.
I drove to Queens and dropped off my stuff at my house. Unloading is so much faster than packing and loading.
Everyone was sleeping.
I tried to steal my car keys so I could drive my Sakura Integra back, but I couldn’t find them. Instead, I stole a book I had ordered online (Warren Cappell’s A Short History Of The Printed Word), and a bunch of bananas. I figured the missing package and bananas should be enough indication to my mom that I had been home.
So, instead of driving my nice tiny car back, I had to drive the huge minivan. At least the speakers were better.
Wendy and I finally arrived in Long Island again, to my new temporary home. As tired as we were, we decided to stay up and do some more funky stuff, as usual. I decided that I should sleep, considering I had to check out of my building in two hours. Wendy decided to sacrifice herself and stay up so she could wake the both of us up.
I slept.
I woke up two hours later. Wendy was watching Cruel Intentions 2. I got up and drove to my old building. I signed a sheet to check out.
I walked back to my old suite and found Eric and Terence parallel parking their remote control cars.
Around forty-five minutes later, a lady comes up and examines every nook and cranny, discovering things about my suite I had never known in the year I had lived there. She wound up writing an essay on the damage report.
I moved my chair out of Eric’s room and into my minivan. On my way back, I saw Jeff and Jacklyn. Jeff kept calling my name, even though I clearly saw him. I kept ignoring him, even though I clearly saw him.
We walked back to Sharon’s room, and I gave Sharon the first hug I’ve ever given her. She received it.
I received a cellular telephone call from Wendy, asking me to go to lunch with her. I was supposed to go to my academic advisor at 11 a.m., and it was 10:50 a.m. at the time. Naturally I chose food.
Jeff overheard my conversation and kept asking me to take Jacklyn to go get food, even though I wasn’t talking to anyone in the room.
I left everybody one last time. I don’t think I’ll ever see Jacklyn ever again.
We went to lunch. In addition to Wendy, Yukiko and Joe were there. I don’t like making new male friends.
We went back to my new temporary house. We parted ways. I drove Wendy to our work place.
Eight hours later, we left.
I drove Wendy to Wendy’s, then White Castle. We purchased food, got back to my new temporary house, and promptly fell asleep.
I woke up to the ring of my cellular telephone. I tripped on Wendy’s laptop’s power cable. Wendy’s laptop decided to split. Wendy woke up.
Our food was cold. I discovered the Wendy’s lady forgot to give me sauce for my chicken nuggets.
I’ve been fighting bouts of loneliness here and there recently, I don’t know why. I’ve been longing for regular physical contact; even something as insignificant as hooking our pinkies together would be nice.
I remember being very happy when I first got together with Irene. Our first year was heavenly bliss. I look back to that time and I envy myself. We were so happy to see each other, like two little kids.
I miss that.
I miss feeling important. I miss being able to make someone happy just by showing up. I miss having someone try to make me happy.
I guess I just miss the reciprocation.
I love you.
I hate you.
I love you.
I hate you.
I love you because of the way you make me feel.
I love you because of everything you’ve ever done for me.
I love you because of who you are, in every way.
I hate you.
I hate you because you don’t love me the way I love you.
I hate you because you are so close, yet so far.
I hate you because you are everything I want, but nothing I can have.
I hate you because we’re “just friends.”
One of my suitemates seems to have had a fight with his girlfriend.
I’m very afraid of him, and what they do in their relationship. There was this one time when the cops were called because he did something to her. I’m not sure what it was, but I think he destroyed something of hers. I remember the cop saying something along the lines of, “First you break people’s property, then you start hitting people. Then I’m going to have to take you away to jail.” It makes me wonder if he abuses her physically.
Just now, I had my door open about 6 inches, and they were arguing. I could hear several thwacks, but I couldn’t tell what they were. They could have been the sound of her shaking him away, or of him hitting her. I wanted to go out and see if she was okay, but I saw him walk away from her for a bit.
They’re gone now. She is, anyway. At least I know she’s not being beaten at this very moment.
Please shut up.
You are all beautiful. You’ve always been beautiful. You will always be beautiful.
Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise, including yourselves.