Guilty Pleasures

Sometimes, when everything seems to change for the better, when all the world goes your way, you realize that there is an equilibrium to maintain. For every good thing that happens to you, a bad thing happens to your friend. For every tear of joy you cry, a tear in the heart is torn. For every blissfully ignorant laugh you make, the hard face of reality seeps into another’s soul.

This weekend, I had a lot of fun. Two very important friends of mine, however, did not. As I engulf myself in happiness, making myself feel better, I look around and realize the rest of the world is falling apart. Pain and suffering from two of my most cheerful friends.

I am inclined to ask, “Why?” Why do these things happen? Why must these ordeals happen in the midst of my own happy days? Why can’t these things happen to others? Why can’t they just not happen?

This pain my friends feel, I feel it too. Not directly, of course, but through their words. And here I am, just fooling around and having fun. My joy turned to guilt. My friends turned to victims.

Sorry, everybody. I know I did no wrong, I know it is not my fault. But I should have been there for you.