Some Mornings

Some mornings I wake up, and everything is wrong. Every little thing irritates me; I’m upset at everything around me. I don’t know why I get like that, but I do sometimes. I get upset at my friends for the stupidest reasons, reasons they will never know because I am too pissed off to tell them. And afterward, I will convince myself that it’s all me, that I was just in a pissy mood. There’s no need to let them know that they pissed me off for whatever reason, because I was probably just hyper-sensitive that day.

So then, I guess this is my outlet for my anger. Here goes:

Fuck you for not saving a seat for me in class the other day. Fuck you for completely ignoring me when I tried to get to you, to say “Hi!” Fuck you for leaving as soon as you saw me.

Fuck you for hearing of the results of something I thought I did okay in, and responding only by saying, “Ouch.” Fuck you for playing with my feelings, intentionally or not. Fuck you for being so nice to me one minute, and cold the next.

Fuck you for not ever doing anything right. Fuck you for wasting all my resources. Fuck you for doing the stupidest, most immature things, and having no patience whatsoever. Fuck you for being such a slob, yet being anal at the most trivial things.

Fuck you for thinking that you are my world, and that I am yours. Fuck you for responding the way you did when I showed you otherwise.

Ahem. Okay, I feel better.