Crushes

Crushes are the darnest things, aren’t they?

You have a friend, you like her (or him), but as happy as you are with the way things are, currently, you want more. You want them to want you as much as you want them. You want them to leave their boyfriend/girlfriend, you want them to see how much they deserve better. You want them to know that you’ll treat them the exact opposite of the way their current lover is treating them. You want everything to change, but you don’t want anything to change.

What if you told him/her? How would they react? What if they don’t like you? What if they start avoiding you? What little happiness you have with them right now will be gone, forever. So you don’t get greedy. Don’t get greedy! Just stay as you are. As a friend. Keep your distance. Lie your ass off. Sneak in an occasional compliment, hoping that it will sway her/him a bit. Try to spend as much time with them as possible. But do so as a friend, you see? Do so in such a safe way as to not ruin what you have. Take baby steps. Wait for your chance. Wait for when they break up. Do the honorable thing.

And what if they do break up? What then? Will you immediately get together with them? Will you be so able, be her knight in shining armor, rescuing the damsel in distress?

And so what if they’re single again? Do you know how many others are waiting in line? Take a number, fool. Go to the back of the line.

Cutting in line, eh? You sick fuck. You’re not a true friend. You’re just a wolf in disguise. You were only interested in being her friend because you think she’s hot. You were subtly trying to break her/him apart from her/his boyfriend/girlfriend. Whenever she/he has problems, you’re always there, aren’t you? You’re always the one they first turn to, always willing to accept what they have to say. You’re always there, listening to their problems, relishing every syllable. In fact, you probably just tell her/him that they should break up. “Oh, no, I just try to remain objective,” you convince yourself. Do you really think you are capable of being objective? Do you really think that you didn’t have other wishes than “what’s best for her/him”?

No.

You are not good for her. You are not right for her. You are not a good friend. You are not an objective advisor. You are not what you seem to be. You are a wolf in sheep’s clothes. You are waiting to pounce upon your prey when you have the chance, to seize the most precious prize of them all.

She/he won’t be happy with you. You’ll bore the crap out of them. You’ll be done and over with, within a week. Who said you’ll even get a week? You’ll just lose your friendship. You’ll lose what little you have. Your precious time with her/him. Why risk it?

It’s much safer on the side. It’s much safer as a friend.

I am so hopelessly addicted to you.