June 25, 2002

Today, I got a cell phone. As much as I hate having a cell phone and all its annoyances and harmful effects, it is very inconvenient to pick up chicks when you cannot call them back.

As with most purchases, a little bit of joy is received as hard-earned cash is handed over to a salesperson. Yes, I was happy to get a cell phone, because it was a new toy for me to play with.

My happiness was shattered when Irene lectured me about the basics of purchasing a cell phone. I must have been nuts, to actually trust a salesperson, apparently. Nevermind the fact that my mom seemed to know him a bit. My model, apparently, was a year old, and thus garbage. It’s also ugly.

It was so upsetting after I called her, after happily letting her know that I have a new number where I can be reached. Upsetting after I made the call, after I heard her start yelling at me, after I was forced to defend my decision to go to my mom for purchasing a cell phone for me, instead of going to her friend, who would have offered me a better deal, and not tried to rip me off.

It’s not that I don’t believe that her friend wouldn’t have ripped me off, or that I didn’t get ripped off at all or anything. It’s just that… why didn’t she just fucking let me be happy, in my blissful ignorance? Why did she have to screw me out of my little happiness, instead of just letting me think that I’m suddenly so cool, that I have this new toy to play with?

My new toy, I no longer look at with pride and fondness. I cannot help it. I look at it, and now I think, Yeah, it is a tad ugly, I suppose… and I checked the date on the box it was made, it was copyright 2000, so I suppose that would make it over a year old… all depressing details that make it so very hard to just enjoy what I have on my desk.

I didn’t ask for much, I just wanted to get a simple, “So cool?” out of her, when I called her tonight. I knew that she probably wouldn’t have chosen this model, because she would have thought that it was too big, and probably out of style, but I didn’t think that she would have just criticized me so much. It is as though my feelings were not important, only her sense of style and her expertise in cell phones.

So, she’s keen on all the newest, hottest, flashiest cells. So, she’s got connections that run through the core of the earth all the way to Hong Kong. Maybe she has the coolest ass phone that can be used as a nuclear reactor. But all my other friends who have phones that are older, larger, and have poorer reception seem to get along just fine. They seem happy to just be able to use their phones. Why can’t I?

Why won’t you let me?